Relatability is oversold
The need for social validation of experience is indoctrinated, and though relatability is comforting, the lack thereof should be embraced too. This is important in developing individuation not based on confirmations and affirmations from other people.
We seek relatability to validate our experience — it provides comfort in solace. Relating is a product of self-confirmation biases. When sought, relatability is empowered as a desire. Relatability is over-glorified and it is completely fine to not relate.
Relatability is also an extension of the correlational nature of the mind. It is a tendency to correlate with people based on shared attributes. So, when we think of a relatable person, we may also think of our commonalities because of our desire to connect. These commonalities are overrepresented in our minds and skew perceptions of people related.
Commonalities help build tribes with like-minded people. This like-mindedness is magnified as we create a biased bubble attracting people like us. However, everyone is different and alone, and loneliness should be embraced. We seem to look for acceptance from others as a tool to overcome loneliness.
When meeting a person, we may have an inherent bias to associate them with people, or concepts, whom they remind us of. The mind wants to categorize concepts, including people, based on overlapping attributes. This generalization of representative traits counters information overload and provides definitions.
If someone from a group of liberals meets a conservative, they may associate the person with conservativeness. So, when they meet another conservative, they may say, “Oh, you remind me of this other person…” hence inherently exaggerating the commonalities to form identities. This strays away from forming an objective notion of people.
Relatability resonates and rewards. Relatability can be cherished just as much as lack thereof, boldening unique perspectives. The lack of relatability should be destigmatized in our minds.